Safety first, last, and forever

Given my past adventures in the woods, I was drawn to this story in yesterday's Huntsville Times -- Wilderness adventures needn't be full of peril. I thought I might pick up some tips. What I picked up instead was a feeling that after reading this no sane person would ever want to go in the woods. I did, though appreciate this tip from Dr. John Ennis, an expert in wilderness first aid (don't know how one earns that title):

Never pick up a snake.

Gee, thanks Doc.

If the story itself doesn't scare you off the woods, there were a couple of sidebars where Dr. Ennis offered advice on stocking a first aid kit for wilderness treks. I agree this is a noble idea and I usually pack an above average amount of first aid stuff with me on my hikes. Ennis, though, goes a little too far. Seriously, here is his recommended checklist:

• Sunscreens: at least SPF 25 to 30 and waterproof.
• Insect repellents: Products containing DEET are best …
• Books:
  "Wilderness First Aide and Field Guide"
  "Field Guide for Wilderness Travelers, Outdoor Professionals and Rescue Specialists"
• Gloves. Two pair latex or vinyl to protect from blood or other body fluids.
• Mouth barrier: for CPR. These can be bought packaged with sterile gloves.
• Athletic or cloth tape: 1-to-11/2-inch tape (two rolls) for dressing or taping a sprained ankle.
• Elastic wrap: Ace bandage or equivalent (two rolls 4-inches wide) for pressure dressings and to hold splint in place.
• Gauze pads: 4-by-4-inch (10 pads) for wounds.
• Sanitary napkin or surgipad: Classic Kotex pad can be used for larger wounds.
• Roller gauze: (two 4-inch rolls). These hold dressings in place.
• Safety pins: Six large to drain blisters, make an arm sling, and hold bandages.
• Triangular bandages: (two 40 inches on a side) for sling and swath, and cravat bandages.
• Band-Aids or equivalent: (10 minimum) to cover small wounds.
• Moleskin, Molefoamor gel pads: at least three for hot-spots and blisters on feet.
• Tweezers: to remove splinters and foreign bodies.
• Small scissors: for cutting bandages and to shape moleskin.
• Alcohol and/or iodine wipes: (20) for wound cleaning.
• Germacidal cleanser: Hibiclens or Betadine skin cleanser (2 ounces)
• Antibiotic ointment: Polysporin, Neosporin, Betadine (povidone iodine), or equivalent.
• Scapel blade: (2) in individual sterile packets for blisters and splinters.
• Pencil and paper: for recording injuries and vital signs.
• SAM SPLINT: (36 inches) one for every four individuals for splinting musculoskeletal injuries or snakebites.
• Acetaminophen tablets, 500 mg. (Tylenol or equivalent)
• Ibuprofen tablets, 300 mg. (Motrin or equivalent)
• Naproxen tablets, 220 mg. (Aleve or equivalent)
• Antacid tablets (Tums or equivalent)
• Acid reducer tablets, (Pepcid AC, Zantac or equivalent)
• Milk of magnesia liquid, 8 ounces.
• Bismuth Liquid, 16 ounces, or tablets (Pepto-Bismol Liquid/Tablets or equivalent)
• Calamine or Sarna lotion
• 1 percent hydrocortisone cream, 30 gram tube
• Diphenhyradmine tablets, 25 mg. (Benadryl capsules or equivalent)
• Eugenol or oil of cloves (for toothache)
• Eye drops with tetrahydrozoline, 1 ounce (Murine or equivalent)
• Artificial tears eye drops
• VoSol Otic Solution or equivalent (for swimmer's ear)
• Anti-diarrheal tablets with loperamide, 2 mg. (Lomotil or equivalent)
• Cough syrup with dextromethorphan and guaifenesin, 8 ounces (Robitussin DM or equivalent)
• Oxymetazoline Nasal Spray, (Afrin or equivalent)
• Plastic magnifying lens for examination of eyes and wounds

C'mon, that's just ridiculous! No one is going to haul all that crap into the woods. I'm also pretty sure I'm not going to go buy a box of "Classic Kotex Pads" to treat larger wounds. I'm sure that'd go over real well with the woodsy crowd. Geesh, no wonder folks today don't go play in the woods. The "experts" make it out to be such a scary place. Wear sturdy shoes, take plenty of water and some snacks, and stay on trails if you don't know the area. It really can be that simple. Of course I'm not an expert in wilderness first aid, but I have stayed in a Holiday Inn Express.