Family fun

For those of you who were curious, I did in fact survive the Caffeine family's 4th of July festivities. [Yes, it was a little early this year, but ...]

This may not come as a surprise to you, but I come from a family of storytellers. For years the joker in the deck of cards that is my dad's family has been Great Uncle Charles. This man is a great storyteller. The Corp of Engineers once did a feature on him in its in-house magazine and I don't think there were 20 factual words in the whole story. The past couple of years, though, Uncle Charles hasn't been in the best of health and he just doesn't seem to have the energy for great stories any longer. Never fear; the torch has been passed to Uncle Zeno. [Yes, that's his name. The first 4 kids in Dad's family are Zeno, Leo, (Aunt) Daffo, and Elzo.] Uncle Zeno can spin a good yarn, but he often gets so tickled in his telling that it's hard to follow the story. Still, if this year's party was Zeno's audition, I'd have to say he is entitle to the crown.

First, he told a great tale about a pair of shoes. Long story as to why, but Zeno showed up at the cabin Friday night wearing a pair of "slippers" -- Caffeine family speak for any type of male "dress shoes". This, though, was not just any old pair of slippers. No, he got out of the U.S. Army November 28th, 1963 (just after Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas) and he bought this pair of shoes shortly thereafter. He did have them half soled one time, but the man was wearing a 42-year-old pair of shoes. Now my family has long been known for its ability to maintain and use possessions long past normal life spans. This, though, might be a record. The shoes looked brand new. Even more amazing than that, I got to thinking about how many times Zeno has moved since 1963. I've moved 3 times in the last 7 or 8 years and every time I move I get rid of a bunch of stuff. Obviously Zeno does not wear these shoes often, yet he's hauled them from place to place for 42 years. I don't know exactly why, but that impressed me.

Second, and more relevant to his assumption of the Caffeine Family Storyteller Throne, he showed the dedication and perseverance of a true storyteller. Since he'd gotten to the cabin so late Friday night, he was still wound up once everyone else was ready for bed. Cousin Becca and I finally begged off and bedded down in sleeping bags on the cabin's porch about 1:00. Zeno, though, found two of the "young uns" who were up for more talk. Since I was on the porch of the cabin, I got to "enjoy" an extra hour's worth of tales from around the fire. Most of the stories involved hunting. On about 2:00 they got off onto bird hunting. Actually now that I think back, I realize that Zeno was the one who brought up bird hunting and I suspect that he introduced the topic just so he could tell his joke (borrowed from Jerry Clower). Anyway, they got into a discussion of various dove hunts they'd been on and Zeno tried a couple of times to work in his joke. The "young uns", though, kept going on about actual hunts they'd been on. Finally, a bit after 2:00, they all decided it was time to retire and Zeno had not been able to finish his joke.

The next morning I had to get up a little before 6:00 for a nature call (no plumbing at the cabin) and as soon as someone stirred Zeno was up and ready to talk some more. Fortunately for me, one of the "young uns" from the night before got up about the same time so I was able to sneak back to my sleeping bag. As soon as I got back in my bag and Zeno got the fire going again, I heard him FINALLY get to tell his dove hunting joke! Now that's dedication -- sitting on a story overnight, ready to spring it at first light. In my mind, he's earned the crown.

As for the rest of the weekend, ... It was okay. The actual reunion on Saturday went fine. The pig was good and I got to visit a bit more with relatives. This year was a tad rushed though, as Mary Beth (Zeno's daughter) was to be married Saturday night. He did, she did, and now they're married. Since the wedding was in Lawrenceburg (as opposed to Wayne County), I did see some L'burg folks from the distant past. It turns out that I went to high school with the sister of the groom and I talked to an old high school teacher -- that was weird. She's still teaching and she still hasn't gotten over the fact that I chose economics over English. Oh, and I almost set myself on fire during the reception. A kind woman pulled me away from the flame. I was appreciative, but I think some of the cousins were disappointed because THAT would have made a great "I remember St. Caffeine setting himself on fire at Mary Beth's wedding" story that would have lived for years in family lore. I told you, we're storytellers.

So, a good time was had by all, but I'm glad it's only once a year. I don't know that I could take the Caffeine Clan more often.