Mud, mud, mud

I know everyone complains about the mudslinging political campaigns in his/her area, but I swear the current crop of races in Alabama is the worst I’ve ever seen. Here’s a few of the high (low) lights:

One candidate for Chief Justice cuts and pastes excerpts from an interview given by his opponent. The excerpt makes it appear she is lying through her teeth about accepting contributions from the gambling industry. Not to be daunted, his opponent has accused him of accepting almost $1 million of oil industry money, even though the method used to arrive at that claim is patently ridiculous. In addition, her signature ad plays “This Little Light of Mine” in the background while showing her parading around in a black robe like a judicial angel, sent to save us all from her evil opponent.

Until today (more on that below), my favorite spot was an ad set to the tune of the Green Acres theme song. It’s the familiar Green Acres tune, but it accuses the incumbent of spending all his time traveling the world on junkets paid for by lobbyists. The ad even features a character with a (bad) French accent implying this loser spends his time sipping coffee and eating pastries in France (of all places) rather than fighting for the common man down in Montgomery. I happen to strongly dislike the target of this ad, but I’d almost vote for him anyway just because this ad is so ludicrous.

As of today, though, my favorite is a spot attacking a candidate for his family’s interest in a chain of gas stations. First, one of the stores in the chain was charged with price gouging after Katrina last year. They settled and I’ve never really figured out why a few stations were charged when it seemed all stations jacked up prices about 70 cents following Katrina. Regardless, it hasn’t been shown, at all, that this guy has any hand in the actual operations of the business. Now, though, his opponent has gone lower. Evidently one of the “family” stations had a leak in one of its underground gas tanks and the leak went undiscovered for a long period of time (maybe years). In the meantime, a 5-year-old girl in the neighborhood contracted leukemia. This story came out last year, but it seemed like a “years long” story and, again, I never saw the candidate mentioned in any story about the tragedy. Now, though, the opponent all but accuses this guy of heartlessly causing this little girl to get leukemia. It’s a really tacky (with all the Southern connotations of that word) ad. Honestly, it ends with something like, “If his family business caused this little girl to get leukemia, how can we trust him to look after our needs.” This one really disappoints me because I’d been planning to vote for the guy running the ad. Now, though, I may have to reconsider.

Surprisingly, the cleanest race may be for governor. The incumbent has such a strong lead, it just seems pointless to get too nasty. His opponent has tried, though (and he has slung some mud as well). I find it hilarious that a Democrat (the opponent) is attacking a Republican (the incumbent) because the Cato Institute [Edit: I don't think it was Cato, maybe Heritage? I don't remember.] says he’s not conservative enough. How weird is that?

Oh, I forgot the lieutenant governor’s race. This used to be a powerful office in AL – making committee appointments, deciding which bill went to which committee, etc. Back in the 1990s, though, a Republican won the office and the state Dems freaked. They immediately rewrote laws to completely strip the LG of all power. [I’m not kidding, they were able to do that.] Now it’s basically a ceremonial position, though this year’s candidates are viewed as wanting the office to position themselves for gubernatorial runs next time around. Anyway, the choice comes down to the scion of an AL dynasty and a lobbyist whose main bragging point in his ads is, “Vote for me; I’m tall.” Seriously, the guy goes by the nickname “Tall Luther.”

It’s all pretty strange. Thankfully it’ll all be over next week.