Lo mein and kismet

One of my very favorite things in life is a good plate of Chinese food, especially the spicy stuff. At the end of a meal, though, there is the issue of the fortune cookie. There are lots of clever little things to do with the fortunes (e.g., add "in bed" to the end of your fortune), but I'd like to think I'm more mature than that. I usually take a bite of the cookie (most of the time it's awful), read my fortune, and then go on with my day.

Lately, though, I've had a couple of disturbing fortune cookie experiences that have led me to question whether I can continue to eat Chinese food. Yes, I could eat the food and throw away the cookie, but that just seems like cheating. Regardless, ...

Recently, the lunch crowd went to Canton House. When I got my fortune cookie at the end of the meal, I was told, "Someone you recently met will play an important role in your life." I'm used to fortune cookies that don't really give fortunes. You know, they're more adages than fortunes -- an ill wind blows no good, a happy life is its own reward, stuff like that. This, though, seemed a little more direct. Someone I recently met will play an important role in my life! What's that about? Had I met anyone new recently? Is this a female someone? Is this a romantic role or a professional role or just what kind of role?

Wait, a little more info is needed here. As I mentioned yesterday, this is my favorite time of the year. Fall is the one time of the year when I most regret not having a significant other. It just seems like a romantic time of the year. Anyway, all that was playing into my projection of significance onto this fortune cookie. Think about it; "Someone you recently met will play an important role in your life," is just so full of possibility. No, I do not put any real faith in the ability of a slip of paper in a cookie to foretell the future, but it was just so darned optimistic. It got me to thinking and I did hold onto that fortune, just in case. I mean it'd make a great story if it turned out to be true.

So I kept the fortune, but I'd pretty much forgotten about it until I went to Tuscaloosa last Friday. Though I was disappointed in the overall trip, I figured I'd take the opportunity to go eat at Trey Yuen (my all-time favorite Chinese restaurant). Sure enough, that helped lessen the sting of the snafu at the lecture, but then I got my fortune cookie. Before I looked at it, I remembered the positive vibe I got from the last fortune. Though I put no faith in the cookies, I was curious to see just what sort of direction I'd get from this one. So, I opened the wrapper, extracted the cookie, broke it in half, and took a bite (I don't know why or who, but someone once told me you're supposed to take a bite before reading the fortune. Though I have no reason to believe that is true, I always do it. It's like Kelly Palamino in Sex and Sunsets. At some point he made the statement that one should always put on the right shoe first and I've been stuck doing that ever since. I'm very susceptible to suggestion.) Anyway, back to the fortune cookie ...

I extricated the fortune from the cookie and I read:
Being an able man there are always.
That was it. No more. I was crushed. What was I to do with such a fortune? There are always WHAT? Besides, I wouldn't really describe my self as an able man. I'm pretty much useless unless you need help with some academic matter or you just need a strong back to help lift something. Sigh, I was greatly disappointed.

Though I have recovered, somewhat, I don't know that I can face the vagaries of fortune cookies any longer. Hence, I think I'll just have to eliminate that from my diet. I'm gonna' miss ya' Mongolian beef. Hey, anybody wanna' go get a taco?