What's for dinner?

Yesterday I had a request from longtime reader CrystalCF for a couple of my recipes. Yes, I'm talking about cooking recipes! It is possible, you know, for a man to be able to feed himself on something other than frozen pizza and doughnuts -- though there is NOTHING wrong with a good frozen pizza and doughnut feast.

Anyway, Crystal wanted my pumpkin roll recipe (a perennial hit) as well as my version of almond-fried rice [full disclosure: both originated with Caffeine Mom]. Sorry, Crystal, but I haven't gotten around to tracking down the recipes yet. In the meantime, though, I will share a recent culinary discovery [again due to Caffeine Mom] -- World's Easiest Caramel Pie. Okay I made up the name, but it's yummy and oh so easy. When Mom first shared this with the family, we all called her a liar because it just seems so damned strange. I can attest, from personal experience, that it really does work. So here goes:

Ingredients: 2 cans of sweetened condensed milk, a graham cracker pie crust, cool whip, something to sprinkle on top (e.g., a crushed Butterfinger, a Heath bar, chocolate drizzle, ...).

How you make it (this is where the disbelief comes in): Put the two (unopened) cans of milk (I took the wrappers off) in a crock pot and completely cover them with water. Turn the crock pot on high and leave it alone for approx. 5 hours. CAREFULLY remove the cans from the crock pot and leave them alone until "cool to the touch" [I put them in the fridge for an hour-and-a-half to 2 hours, but I was in a hurry]. Only when the cans are cool*, open them and pour/scrape the caramel "glop" into the pie crust. Spread out the glop, top with cool whip, sprinkle with additional garnish and chill in the fridge until ready to eat.

That's it. Really. It works.

Now I'm sure Eagle Brand does not endorse this recipe as I suppose the cans could explode, but I've not heard of that happening to anyone** AND it was a big hit at the Memorial Day gathering I went to. I think it's going to become my new standard "thing to take" when I have to go to such things. The pumpkin roll is impressive, but it takes a good bit of work. Oh, please note that you do have to plan ahead a little to make this pie. You need at least 5 hours to boil the milk, a couple (at least) for cooling, and then chilling time for the finished project. Caffeine Mom usually makes it the night before. I did not plan that well.

Oh, other people seem to know this basic recipe, but I have to give props to Caffeine Mom for coming up with the crock pot innovation. See, the original recipe calls for boiling the cans in a big pot for 3 hours. Mom didn't like that approach, though, because she had to keep checking the pot and adding water and such. With the crock pot you have none of that.

So if you need a dessert, give this a shot. It doesn't get much easier (outside of stopping at the store and buying one) and it did seem to go over well with my crowd. Of course I do realize I get extra points in those situations simply because I'm the pitiful single guy. Folks expect me to volunteer to bring ice and drinks, so they're always impressed when I bring anything actually produced in my kitchen.

* DO NOT attempt to open them while hot. Even if you're convinced that opening the cans will allow the heat to dissipate faster and speed up the process, DO NOT do it.
** Note this is not a guarantee of total and complete safety. Do not blame me if your can of milk should explode. Nor is it my fault if your crock pot shorts out and burns down your house, your dog gets sick, or a tree falls on your roof.