I'll Never Learn

Believe it or not, I am not completely stupid. Yes, I know I sometimes do a good job of hiding that fact, but it's true. None the less, I'm going to wade into a "male/female" topic once again. We'll see if I survive.

Most mornings I listen to one of the music stations on my TV while getting ready to leave the house. Fridays, though, I tend to hang around the house a little longer. Hence, this morning I ended up flipping through some of the news channels -- CNN, Fox, MSNBC, etc. I don't remember which channel it was on (I doubt it was CNN because I'd like to think Soledad would not have done an interview with this woman), but I saw an author pushing her new book: The Truth Behind the Rock : Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Engagements. According to the book's preface, this is not a "how to catch a man" book, nor is it another version of "the rules". So what kind of book is this? I'll let Ms. Kaminsky tell you:

So now that we have that out of the way, let me be the first to assure you that The Truth Behind the Rock is the opposite kind of book from what you're probably used to. It isn't going to tell you how to do things differently or mock your pain as you wait and wonder when your guy is going to get off his ass and propose. The Truth Behind the Rock will give women a peek behind the curtain at what real couples go through on the road to engagement. You'll hear stories from both sexes about that uncomfortable, hazy time between wanting to be married and actually getting engaged, as well as every scenario in between. So rest assured this book has a little something for everybody.

Given that, can you imagine what the author and the interviewer talked about? I'll tell you. They discussed strategies to get a man to propose! What happened to the "different" kind of book? Doesn't seem that different to me. Not only does this seem to be just another "how to turn your loser boyfriend into a worthy husband" book, her suggestions were inane. Ms. Kaminsky is very much against ultimatums. Instead, she prefers subtle hints. Here are a few (they were so ludicrous I took notes):

1. Make loud and frequent mentions of any friends who have recently become engaged.
2. "Dog ear" random magazine ads for diamonds, just to let him know you're interested.
3. If those don't work, box him in. Take him for a long drive or a plane flight (really, she suggested a flight) and bring up the subject while you have him trapped in a car or plane!

I was amazed! How can this woman claim to be selling something new when she's just spewing this tired old crap? If she is serious about coming up with ways to get your man to marry you though, I've got a suggestion for her: start dating me! Sorry, I couldn't resist.

LATE ADDITION: I originally thought the 3rd "subtle" hint was the most ridiculous, but on reflection I think that honor goes to hint #2. Why does #2 win the "most absurd" award? Because it'll never work -- guys don't read magazines that carry ads for diamonds! Besides, if I saw an ad for diamonds I'd just go off on a rant about the DeBeer's diamond cartel and conflict diamonds and such. Of course that might go some way toward explaining why I'm still single, huh?