Travel tips

Given that a lot of folks travel during weekends ...

Over at Vox Baby, Andrew Samwick has a list of travel tips (for stage coach riders) he culled from a Wells Fargo history exhibit. [Proving that even ivy league economists have a sense of whimsy.] Apparently these tips first appeared in the Omaha Herald in 1877. Reading over the list, I was struck by how travel has changed, and NOT changed, in 128 years. Here are a few gems that jumped out at me:

When the driver asks you to get off and walk, do it without grumbling. He will not request it unless absolutely necessary. If a team runs away, sit still and take your chances; if you jump, nine times out of ten you will be hurt.
Be nice to the driver, pilot, etc., and sometimes the best thing to do
is hold on tightly.

Don't growl at food stations; stage companies generally provide the best they can get. Don't keep the stage waiting; many a virtuous man has lost his character by so doing.
I originally noticed this tip because of its modern relevance -- stop complaining about the food and amenities. What really struck me, though, was the last part, "many a virtuous man has lost his character by so doing." Priceless phrasing.

Spit on the leeward side of the coach. If you have anything to take in a bottle, pass it around; a man who drinks by himself in such a case is lost to all human feeling. Provide stimulants before starting; ranch whisky is not always nectar. Don't smoke a strong pipe inside especially early in the morning.
Great advice for any era.

Don't swear, nor lop over on your neighbor when sleeping. Don't ask how far it is to the next station until you get there.
"Are we there yet?" was an annoyance even in 1877. I must admit, though, that I'm not sure if I've ever inadvertently "lopped over" on my neighbor. If so, sorry.

Never attempt to fire a gun or pistol while on the road, it may frighten the team; and the careless handling and cocking of the weapon makes nervous people nervous. Don't discuss politics or religion, nor point out places on the road where horrible murders have been committed.
Again, solid advice 128 years later. I do wish the laundromat talker had read that bit about how careless handling of the weapon tends to make others nervous. Finally, it appears the annoying "know-it-all" traveling companion has been with us quite a while, though I'm not sure what would bring one to go on about the sites of horrible murders.

Anyway, those are a few that caught my eye. The full list contains additional hints, including a reference to the "tater patch" danger that arises from greasing ones hair before a dusty trip.

I'm off to Huntsville this afternoon, so this likely is all for Friday.

You can lead a horse to water ...

I was all set to post today about a couple of those "What is the world coming to?" things I spotted around the blogosphere, but I'll save those for another day. Maybe tomorrow. Today, though, I need to vent.

As you may remember, I mentioned that the test I gave earlier this week was the worst I'd ever graded. Due to the extraordinarily poor performance, I decided to give them a quiz the next class period. I picked 5 multiple choice questions from the test, tweaked them slightly (e.g., changed a price floor to a price ceiling, changed the numbers, ...), and handed it out at the beginning of class. In the previous class (the day I handed back their tests), I had told the students we'd be doing this and that they should look over their tests and try to figure out why they'd missed the questions they did. [I marked the wrong answers on the test, but I didn't indicate the right answers.] Oh, I also let them use their books, notes, etc. on the quiz. I had two goals:

1) To get them to look over the material again and see just how they'd screwed up.
2) To give them an opportunity to earn a few points to boost their poor grades.

Neither goal was met.

The first question on the quiz involved determining the opportunity cost of producing one more tank, in terms of foregone car production. There was a little table at the top and all they had to do was see how much car production went down when tank production increased by 1. Some students missed the question on the test because they fell for option e -- opportunity cost is not measurable because there is no currency specified. I included that to make sure they understand opportunity can be found independent of dollar amounts.

So if you were a student who missed that on the test, wouldn't you think that the correct answer might be one of the other four (the ones involving actual numbers of cars)? I'd think so, but several students missed it on the quiz because they picked choice e AGAIN! Even after being told that was not the right answer, they picked it yet again. True, the numbers were slightly different, but if "not measurable because there is no currency specified" was not right the first time, wouldn't you realize it wasn't right the next time? Well you would IF YOU'D LOOKED OVER YOUR TEST! That's what kills me, the total lack of give a damn in this group.

Wait, it gets better! One slacker dude came in late. I tried to flag him down, but he just toodled back to his seat. I then gave up and just had the other students pass a quiz back to him. Shortly after I'd done that, though, I got to looking for the answer key I'd been working on and I couldn't find it. I'd answered the first 4 questions and I'd worked out the numbers for the 5th one, I just hadn't used the numbers to find and circle the right answer. Hence, I was pretty sure that I'd just given 80% of the answers to this slacker guy and I'd done the heavy lifting for the other 20%. The only thing I was hoping was that at least he'd miss that last one and not get 100%.

When he turned in his quiz I immediately looked at question 5 and sure enough, there were my computations. As I'd suspected, though, he wasn't able to figure out the final answer even with help. The biggest surprise came, though, when I looked at the other 4 questions. THIS GENIUS SCRATCHED THROUGH ONE OF THE RIGHT ANSWERS I'D GIVEN HIM AND CHOSE A WRONG ANSWER INSTEAD!!! I can honestly say I was amazed. What do you do with folks like that?

ARGH!

By the way ...

Just in case any of the guys from UAH are reading, here's something for lunch table discussion. Science is coming to curling! The "Sweep Ergometer" is a device designed to measure and improve sweeper performance in curling. Yep, it's Moneyball on ice.
[Hat tip to The Sports Economist.]

If you didn't watch curling in Salt Lake City, Turin is coming up next year.

Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

Sorry to mention my new thesaurus yet again (I promise -- no more thesaurus for a week, at least), but one nice feature is the section on general writing guidelines. I've been writing for years -- not professionally, but still ... -- and by now I've developed my own writing style. It's hard now to think about changing/improving my method of writing, but I figure it might be worthwhile. Two writing sins that I am guilty of: I sometimes using a 50-cent word when a 5-cent word would do and I sometimes get a tad redundant (especially when those 50-cent words start flowing). As I am trying to cut down on my redundancy addiction (my sesquipedalian (look it up) nature will have to wait), I now tend to notice redundant statements more frequently. Today's Decatur Daily has a doozy.

The story is about a man who was denied parole. He was convicted of killing his wife in 1984 and then burying her beneath a freshly dug fish pond in his back yard. [Actually, the story says he was "convicted of killing his wife in 1984 and burying her body ...", but I find BODY redundant.] The best example of redundancy, though, is in the 3rd paragraph:

Unless he is paroled, his sentence is 999 years, 99 months and 99 days, which means he will die in prison.

Even before starting my redundancy vigilance, I'd have recognized the needlessness of that last phrase. His sentence is 999 years, 99 months, and 99 days! Unless his name is Methuselah, OF COURSE he will die in prison if not paroled!

Just thought that was kind of funny. Not much to say today as I am WAY behind on grading stats homework sets.

Is that a gun in your laundry basket?

Given the email response to yesterday's post, I see that not everyone knows the infamous gun in the laundromat story. If you already know the story, feel free to skip today's entry, but I might tell a slightly different version than the one you know -- these stories tend to evolve over time.

Regardless, here's the tale one reader has dubbed her "all time favorite" of my many weirdo stories.

It all started when I first moved to Tuscaloosa (insert eerie flashback music here). Very soon after arriving in T-town I discovered that I needed to do laundry. This presented a problem in that laundromats are kind of like barber shops -- you pick one and stick with it. Yes, the basics are the same, but each establishment has its own atmosphere and clientele, so you don't bounce around. Anyway, I didn't have a regular laundromat, so I started looking around for one.

Fortunately there was one really close to my apartment and, as a bonus, it appeared to be relatively modern and clean, so I gave it a shot (poor word choice, given what followed). One afternoon I bit the bullet (another bad pun) and went to do laundry. It all started innocently enough. I lugged in my big bag of clothes, picked out a washer or two (not 10 like someone I knew in college), and sat down to wait. Very quickly I spotted a talker -- an older guy with lots of laundry, roaming from person-to-person just dying to get into a meaty conversation with some random stranger. The problem was, I knew the outcome would not be random. I KNEW he'd zero in on me if I didn't act quickly and decisively. I should have fled with great haste, but instead I tried to hide behind an abandoned section of newspaper I found next to my chair.

I don't remember what section it was (sports, business, ...), but I read every word on every page. My diversionary tactic worked for a while and I even managed to transfer my clothes from washer to dryer and get back to my paper without making contact. Then it was time to remove the clothes from the dryer. Hindsight being what it is, I should have stuffed my clothes into my laundry bag and beat a hasty retreat, but I lingered to fold my clothes. That was my critical mistake.

As I was folding, the talker pounced. He sidled up to me (trust me, he really did sidle) and threw out his opening line. It probably was something like, "Boy, don't you hate laundry day?" I had to respond with something like, "Yeah," and my fate was sealed. He then told me how he worked heavy construction all around the world and then he asked me about myself. I was hoping to scare him off by telling him I'd just started grad school in economics. Unfortunately this did not scare him off; it encouraged him. He had an abiding interest in economics and, in fact, he often dropped by the university to talk to one of the professors over there. He asked me if I knew that professor and, as luck would have it, I'd just been assigned to work for Dr. Formby. Well when the talker heard this, he and I passed from strangers in a laundromat to dear friends. What follows is as accurate a transcription of the ensuing conversation as I can muster years later.

Talker: You know John Formby?
Me: Yes, I've just been assigned to work for him as a teaching assistant.
Talker: Well, I don't show this to many people, but since you know John Formby ...

At this point he proceeded to draw a six-shot revolver out of the bib pocket of his overalls and hand it over to me! Gun safety being paramount, he first removed the bullets. But the point is, HE PULLED A GUN OUT OF HIS OVERALLS AND HANDED IT TO ME!!!

Keep in mind, this was a laundromat full of people and this guy was waving a pistol around and then implicating me in his craziness by handing me the gun! What does one do when a stranger hands him a gun in a laundromat? I'm not sure what one does, but I felt I had not choice but to take the gun. It just seemed rude (and potentially dangerous) to spurn his gesture of friendship. I politely looked it over and said, "Hmm, that's a nice one." Needless to say, I didn't feel the need to take that much time folding the rest of my laundry. At the least, someone could have called the cops on us. At worst, someone could have taken us out.

Mind you, this occurred the first week I was living in Tuscaloosa. I should have known that was not a good omen.

So, now you all know the gun in the laundromat story. Though I might have added some color to the story, I promise I have not in any way exaggerated the factual basis of the tale. The saddest part is, I was not surprised by this. Trust me; I have a weirdo magnet.

Frustration

Frustration: my weekend summed up in one word. Why?

First, Big Spring Jam. The Jam was okay, but they canceled the entire Sunday night program due to weather. Okay, I wasn't jazzed about going over to Huntsville and standing out in tropical storm weather to see Better Than Ezra yet again, but I wanted to have the choice to do so. Of course I wasn't surprised that they didn't offer some sort of refund to folks who bought 3-day passes, but I did think the woman on the news last night was a little cheeky in telling me that I was out of luck. She said,"Those of you who bought 1-day passes for Sunday can get a refund. Those of you who bought a 3-day pass, well ... You got to enjoy 2 days of good music." On the bright side, I did get to see Don Williams Saturday night. Who is Don Williams, you might ask. Well if you have to ask, then you're too young.

Speaking of my early onset of old age, I was AMAZED at the behavior and dress (or lack thereof) of the kids at this year's Jam. Yes, I know that young folk will be young folk, but what surprised me is just HOW young it starts. There were what appeared to be 12 or 13 year old girls wearing smiles and not much else. Oh, they were, of course, wearing cell phones. (I'll save that rant for another day.) Though it pains me deeply to type this question, "Don't these girls have parents?" Okay, I am old.

The second source of frustration was the first test in my MWF macroeconomics class. This was THE WORST test 1 I've ever graded. What really irked me was the performance on the "gimme" questions. There are certain little things that students tend to make careless mistakes on with some regularity (e.g., demand curves do NOT shift when price changes), so as we cover those issues in class I specifically tell the students that such a question will be on the test. I even tell them the common mistake that they might make and I make them pledge a solemn vow to me that this group, contrary to all past experience, will NOT make such a silly mistake. Come test time, though, they make the exact mistake I warned them about! Now this happens every semester, but this class was worse than normal. Even after being as "generous" as I could, the class average barely made it out of the D range. Though I'm really bad at it, I tried to give them a stern lecture on their devotion to academics. I'm now REALLY dreading the first test in stats. We'll see.

On the bright side, two good things happened this weekend.

First, I got my QPB books on Saturday. I know this marks me as a dork, but I really enjoyed looking through the thesaurus and the NY Times encyclopedia-type thing. As I mentioned originally, the thesaurus is much more than just a synonym finder. Each word has an example of its use in a sentence (so you can get a feel for the word) and many entries have extended discussions of slight nuances in choosing a particular word. I really stress about this and often will devote more time than any sane person should in trying to choose between avow and aver, for example. Anyway, this thesaurus has a discussion of when to use each. Okay, I don't think it actually has a discussion of those two words, but you get the picture. The NY Times thing is just a cool compendium of handy knowledge. You hear that Sat. NY Times crossword puzzle? I'm ready for you now.

Second, and another testament to my nerdiness, I got the LX 700 wireless mouse and keyboard combo for the office. CompUSA finally had it on sale at a price I could justify. I know, I know; you're all saying, "It's just a mouse and keyboard." Trust me, this is one awesome combination. I haven't mastered it yet, but I'm sure I'll have more to say later.

Okay, nothing really exciting to say today. Oh, Thailand Jeff is on his way back to Thailand as I type. Hope your trip is okay. He keeps telling me I should come to Thailand for a visit, but I'm thinking that would be disastrous. Can you imagine me and my weirdo magnet in such a foreign culture? It'd be the death of me for sure. Of course, if I did survive I'd have some really great stories -- perhaps I'd even top the man who showed me his gun in the laundrymat (no, gun is not a euphemism).

What are you?

I normally treat internet "tests" with the same level of disdain as I do those chain emails. That said, I thought this one was kind of interesting. (Hat tip to Big Arm Woman.)

Basically, you answer a lot of agree or disagree type questions and the quiz rates you on two scales -- socially permissive (horiz. axis) and economically permissive (vert. axis). Not surprisingly, I ended up tagged as a Libertarian -- 63% socially permissive and 70% economically permissive. Sorry, but I couldn't get the "you are here" thing to show up on the image. I was just outside the centrist circle, kind of over toward the capitalist line. Perhaps the easiest way to tell you where I fall -- I'm whispering in Donald Trump's (I think) left ear and sort of sitting on someone's (is that Adam Sandler?) forehead. You'll see what I mean if you take the quiz and then click on famous people. Okay, that freaks me out a little.

What makes this test interesting to me is the fact that you have to choose a single, unqualified answer. Yes, there is some wiggle room as you add or leave off strongly to indicate your degree of agreement or disagreement with each statement, but that's it -- no waffling. I read some other folks' comments complaining about this, but if you really could throw all those sometimes or in a way or in general, but qualifiers in there, we'd all end up right smack in the middle. I had some real problems with arts and environment questions, but I found that forcing a choice really made me think about my underlying principles regarding these issues. So, I found out some stuff about myself.

One more interesting feature is that once you take the test, you can click on a button that shows you where you fall relative to blue or red voters (at least among the survey takers) from the 2004 election. Not surprisingly, I'm almost smack dab on the divide between blue and red, but I am a teeny little bit more blue than red. Though I voted neither red nor blue in that election, I have to say I'm a little bit surprised about just where I fell. See, it's that economically permissive streak in me that keeps me from joining up with the blues. Of course, it's the socially permissive streak that keeps me out of the reds. Which would I pick if I had to choose from those two philosophies? Thank goodness the test didn't ask me that. Actually, I guess it did in 2004 and I chose other.

Yes, I know the perils of these simple survey instruments, but check it out. If you do, leave a comment telling me who you look like on the famous people chart.

Other than that, I'm going to Big Spring Jam this weekend. Hopefully, it won't end up like the Bama game.

Reason #528,716 (or so) ...

to be thankful I did not follow through on my dream of being an English major.

Language Log points out a quirk on the New Yorker website that has to be a contender for snootiest web search feature of the year. Yes, I just made up that award, but I guarantee the New Yorker would win - hands down.

As with many websites, the New Yorker's site allows you to search for information using keywords. What if you search for something and there are no hits for your keyword? Well, most people would respond with something along the lines of, "Sorry, couldn't find what you were looking for." Right? Not the New Yorker. No, the New Yorker's website responds with:

I'm sorry I couldn't find that for which you were looking.

Seriously, I'm not joking. I started to rant about this, but then I thought I should go check to make sure this wasn't some urban myth. Well, it's true. It took me a minute to come up with a keyword that did not show up somehow, but then I just used an intentionally misspelled word and I got, "I'm sorry I couldn't find that for which you were looking."

Who, in his right mind, would think that is the appropriate response to display when a search comes up empty? The only answer I can come up with is a frustrated English major who is tired of asking the usual English major question, "Would you like fries with that?"

Even if one accepts that, "I'm sorry I couldn't find that for which you were looking," is more grammatical, it absolutely sucks when it comes to flow. Maybe it's because I am so bad at remembering ALL those inane usage rules, but I feel that flow is more important that strict adherence to the grammar gods' edicts - as long as the phrasing is clear and understandable (an important caveat). Does the alternative (couldn't find what you were looking for) pass that test? YES! Further, even if one feels this allegiance to THE RULES, what about the two contractions ("I'm" and "couldn't") in the New Yorker's phrasing? Should not those be spelled out?

It's no longer "talk like a pirate day", but shiver me timbers, that drives me batty! I stopped reading the New Yorker the last time my subscription lapsed. I really hated to do that because it is a wonderful source of fiction (currently a story by one of my very favorite writers) and, in my opinion, it's THE best source of in-depth essays on the popular magazine market. I was willing to put up with its shrill political tone, but I finally called it quits when the writers' self-obsession levels got to be too much. I grew weary of reading how momentous events made authors "feel" rather than reading about the actual events. I first noticed this after September 11, 2001. I thought the New Yorker would put out a wonderful post-9/11 issue, but instead I read over and over how some elitist member of the literati had been inconvenienced. It's hard to capture my frustration now, but at the time I thought it was more than a little silly that I was supposed to be concerned that some pretentious twat was not able to attend the opening of a new performance art exhibit uptown. Okay, that's not an actual example, but the issue was full of stuff like that.

I'll let the language log guy have the final word:

[W]e now find ourselves, in the 21st century, confronted with educated Americans who seriously think that a search engine should say it is sorry it could not find that for which you were looking. It's staggering. It really is. And The New Yorker apparently encourages this absurd misconception about grammaticality in English. I simply can't imagine what they're thinking of. Or as they would put it, I simply cannot imagine of what they are thinking.

Sigh, I suppose I was meant to be an economist after all - or maybe a baseball player?

Hat tip to Newmark's Door.

It's a deadly sin, but I'm envious

One call out of the blue - $500,000 - no strings attached

Yep, that's the headline announcing the MacArther Fellows for 2005. Popularly known as the genius grants, 25 awards were made this year to recipients in a wide range of fields. This year there was a lobster fisherman, a book preservationist, a violin maker, ... (Sounds like the start of a bad joke.)

How does one get dubbed a "genius"? The recipients are

selected for their creativity, originality, and potential. By providing resources without stipulations or reporting requirements, the MacArthur Foundation offers the opportunity for Fellows to accelerate their current activities or take their work in new directions. The unusual level of independence afforded to the Fellows underscores the spirit of freedom intrinsic to creative endeavors.

Of this year's winners, I'm familiar with the economist and the novelist. I agree with the selection of the former, but not the latter. I know Fortress of Solitude got a lot of positive buzz a couple of years ago, but I wasn't that impressed with it. Of course it could be that I'm just a tad jealous. Did I mention that the awards are for $500,000 (over 5 years)? I could get really creative with a cool half million dollars. Oh well, there's always next year.

Though I am a bit envious, I really like this program. Yes, I think it might be a tad silly to give half-a-million dollars to a guy who makes violins, but I like the basic idea of throwing money at people who do unusual stuff. There are lots of grants and awards out there that reward specific achievements in very specialized disciplines, but I like the wide open nature of the genius grants. By the way, if anyone from MacArthur is reading this, please remember the kind things I'm saying when it's time for next year's awards. So, take a minute and check out the winners. If nothing else, I almost guarantee you'll say, "Cool," after reading about at least one of the recipients. That is, you will if you can get past that awful jealousy in the pit of your stomach.

Sorry blogging has been light the past couple of days. I've been busy and not much has been going on.

Harvard, Oh Harvard

As you know, college textbooks cost a lot of money. DUH! Today's Christian Science Monitor has an opinion piece on the issue by David Zhou, a junior at Harvard University. Now I realize the respect afforded the Harvards of the world likely is disproportionate to the level of intellectual rigor one finds there, yet I still expect more from such an institution. It's not that someone at Harvard wrote something I find trivial and jejune (see, I can show off a vocabulary even though I went to a public school in the South), it's that someone somewhere thought this writing was worthy of being circulated to the country as a whole via the national media. It'd be one thing if this were the level of writing in the student newspaper, but this made it into the Christian Science Monitor (no mean feat, I presume). To me that suggests that this piece is among the better writing samples produced by undergraduates at Harvard. That, my friends, is what troubles me.

Are textbooks too expensive? I won't even get into the economic aspects of this argument. I'll grant the point that textbooks are too expensive. What next? Of course the question, "Why?" The easy answer (and the one chosen by Mr. Zhou) -- those evil textbook publishers! Mr. Zhou uses anecdotes (a friend bought the international edition for 60% of what I paid) and personal opinions (publishers are actively working to keep prices in the stratosphere) to reach his final conclusion: book publishers must be stopped!

What frightens me most are his two solutions:

1. Congress has yet to take any concrete steps toward change.
2. Publishers clearly possess the power to bring prices down. They could stop churning out new editions and toss out the gimmicks - or make them optional - but apparently they'd rather gouge students ...

I hesitate to think of the federal government getting involved in the textbook game. Has Mr. Zhou been paying attention to the whole evolution vs. ID debate? Secondly, why does he think publishers would ever want to "bring prices down"? Yes, in certain cases it is in their interest to push a low price book (elasticity anyone?), but why does he think publishers would EVER pursue such a strategy on an industry-wide basis? The answer, of course, is that he doesn't, but nothing in the piece is about thinking or reacting logically. It is simply a rant at the evil publishing industry.

Don't get me wrong, I do think there are massive rents being collected in the textbook industry. Part of the blame does lie with publishers. They do love those new editions every couple of years. As a nomination for most bizarre rationalization ever, I once heard Pat Schroeder (yep, that Pat Schroeder), CEO of the Association of American Publishers, explain in an NPR interview just why we need all those new editions. This is paraphrasing, but she said something like:

We've found that once an edition is used for 4 or 5 semesters (2 or 2.5 years), then the answers to the problems at the end of the chapters start getting passed around and then everyone starts making A's in the classes.

That has to be the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard. I've been teaching for years and I've never seen this problem. The only way I can see this as a valid argument would be if the professor made homework from the book worth some ungodly percentage of the overall grade. Secondly, most new editions (that I've looked at) don't even change the chapter problems!

Still, textbooks are expensive, so let's think about solutions. Yes, government intervention and voluntary profit reductions by the industry are possible solutions, but I think we can do better. Who else has power in this situation? Instructors and students. I know that at two of the schools I've taught at, we coordinated our textbook selection so that students could buy one overpriced book for both principles rather than one for each section. Further, I've asked about this issue and some book reps have given me cheaper versions of some texts that do what Mr. Zhou asks. They cut down on the bells and whistles in standard texts. There aren't as many graphics, not as much color, fewer end-of-chapter questions and problems, etc. So if instructors would take the lead by adopting such texts, that would help Mr. Zhou. Secondly, students themselves can play a role. Many of my students now contact me before the semester begins to ask for the ISBN number for our text so they can try to track one down off Amazon or ecampus or ... Evidently, though, Mr. Zhou is too busy to invest his time and effort in something like this.

No, I suspect that Mr. Zhou just wanted to rant a bit about high book prices and spew some vitriol at publishers. If he's really interested in bringing down textbook prices, he should think about options that might really have an impact. Until he decides to get down from his high horse, though, it's likely he'll simply "continue to dread [his] trips to the bookstore."

P.S. Sorry for the rant above, but there's one more little thing. Now from my brief sojourn in (high school) journalism, I know that headlines often are not penned by the writer of the piece. Still, I loved the headline for Mr. Zhou's commentary -- College textbook prices are unfair and unnecessary. Unfair? Yes, in his opinion. Unnecessary? I saw no support for that in his piece.

Oh, Harvard, what hath thou wrought?

I can't believe ...

I almost missed this yet again. With a HUGE hat tip to Dave Barry, Monday is talk like a pirate day! I always used to laugh about this when he'd mention it in his column every year, but now, thanks to the internet, we can all participate. Of course, as Dave says, this basically amounts to lots of folks running around yelling "ARR!" because that's pretty much the only pirate expression anyone knows. Still, a light hearted topic for a Friday.

So, everyone let out a great big YAR and sing a YO HO HO on Monday.

I'm out of here today.

You can't make this stuff up

One of the things I was sure I was NOT going to miss when I left Huntsville last year was the overly active nature of many of the local government bodies. I could go on and on about the proposed smoking ban (which they still haven't figured out) and the question of cutting garbage pickup to once a week (don't think they've settled on this one either), not to mention the outlandish actions of the hysterical commission. Not only were my libertarian tendencies offended by a lot of their decisions, but many of their actions seemed to be driven by nothing more than a desire to get even with someone.

Well, it turns out Decatur has some doozies too. I think this story started yesterday. Evidently the Morgan County Commission and the Morgan County Sheriff are in a pissing contest. The sheriff wanted to control his own dispatchers, but the commissioners wanted to keep the dispatchers under their control. Evidently much name calling followed and the commission then cut the sheriff's budget by $67,000. [By the way, lashing out by cutting budgets or even eliminating a foe's position entirely is evidently a common strategy for the commission.]

Bartlett [the sheriff] said the amount would pay salaries and benefits for two dispatchers, and he might be forced to lay off two employees. A majority of commissioners said they doubted that.

Well, today Sheriff Bartlett struck back.

Morgan County commissioners learned this week that if they cross the sheriff, they won't get perks such as working inmates.

Apparently the county has been using inmate labor to do lots of little odd jobs and now Sheriff Bartlett has decided to retaliate by cutting off the supply of free labor. While the inmate work program seems like an okay policy to me, I cenrtainly understand the sheriff's move. Not the commissioners. They act as if this is totally unprovoked on his part. Stacy George, one of the chief combatants in the previous dispute said:

"I think he's being vindictive," said George. "He's different from me. I can argue in a meeting and disagree, and if the sheriff needs me later, I'll be there to help him."

HELLO! It's called tit-for-tat and 5-year-olds understand how it works. Don't act all surprised when you smack someone and he smacks back. Remember the line from The Untouchables? Something like, "They put one of yours in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the cemetery." Of course this is a bad way to run a government, but everyone understands the process - except for Commissioner George evidently.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

A good day, for a change

I've been in a bit of a funk of late, but today has been a good day -- so far. Why, well I can think of a couple of reasons:

1. The St. Louis Cardinals are just about to clinch the NL Central title. Yes, I know that doesn't matter in the larger scheme of life, but it is important to me. Of course Carpenter failed to get his 22nd win last night, but I shouldn't complain about that.

2. The Gilmore Girls are back. Yes, I guess it's a chick show, but I like it A LOT! I won't spoil the seasaon opener for those of you who didn't see it last night, but it was pretty good. I think they're handling the proposal thing okay. I'm still not liking Rory very much, but I haven't really liked her since she went off to college. My mother once told me, in a fit of pique over some argument we were having, that she should never have let me go off to college. Yep, Ole Miss -- that bastion of liberalism -- ruined me. Anyway, ...

If you are watching the Gilmores, then you know why this makes me happy. If you're not watching the Gilmores, start next week! Seriously, it's a good show. I will admit that the banter gets a little too intense at times and Lorelai seems to be insanely well educated for someone who never had the opportunity to attend college, but I think it's one of the best shows on TV today. C'mon, how many Law & Orders and CSIs do we really need. Try something different.

3. I got a funny note in an email this morning. A friend, who shall remain nameless, sent me the following regarding yesterday's post (about book buying and price discrimination):

Quite educational. I enjoyed the refresher course on marginal utility. You are, though, a dork.

Though I think nameless friend was kidding (mostly), I have no problem with that accusation. It made me smile and a reason to smile always makes for a good day.

Why?

Today I was all set to blog about a question posed by Arnold Kling (originally asked by Matthew Kahn). Given that we somtimes (er, most always) think we know better than the rest of the world, why are there so few economists in elected offices? As as economist I obviously think the world would be a better place if we were running it, but I had several tounge-in-cheek explanations ready to explain the dearth of economists in office. C'mon, we can do better than Phil Gramm and Dick Armey! Before I could do that, though, I found myself in a situation that led me to question my decision making ability -- I found myself shopping for books!

Those of you that know me well know that the last thing I need is more books. I blame the whole thing on the Quality Paperback Book Club. [By the way, if any of you want to join, I can get some free books. Heck, you might even talk me into sharing.] See, they suckered me in with a classic example of 2nd degree price discrimination. If I bought just one book (the one I wanted) at full price, they'd sell me an unlimited number of additional books at 1/2 their already low price. Did it work? Well, I've got 4 new books on the way to Decatur!

Now it's tempting to say that I was foolishly taken in by a scheme even though I recognized it upfront. As an economist, though, I can't admit that. Seriously, [I'll take a teaching opportunity here] this should serve as a reminder that just because a deal is good for one party (QPB) that does not mean it is automatically bad for the other (me). In other words, QPB obviously gains from this pricing structure, else they wouldn't offer it. That does not mean, though, that I got taken. In economics-speak, my marginal utility for each additional book was lower than the original book, hence I would not have purchased them at the original "high" prices. By lowering the price on a subsequent book until it reached my reservation price, QPB gained a sale and I got a book (3 actually) that I wouldn't have bought otherwise. Do I feel ripped off? No, or I wouldn't have bought the books even at the lower prices.

Hmm, I guess I've changed my mind as I've been writing. I DON'T feel that this was an example of bad decision making that should count against economists running the world. Now it may be that I have screwed up priorities (buying additional books when one already has more books than he'll ever get around to reading), but my decision is not irrational from a utility maximization point of view. Of course, von Mises argued that economic man cannot be irrational in that any action is taken to further a subjective utility, but that seems to be splitting hairs.

Nope, I'm back to thinking that economists really should hold elected office. Whew, for a minute there I thought my economics hubris was waning.

Roll Tide Roll

Despite my previously stated dislike of going to Bama football games (note, it's not that I dislike Bama football, I just never have been crazy about going to the games), Saturday I ended up in Tuscaloosa. How? Ken asked if I wanted to go. It really was that simple.

I actually enjoyed the pregame tailgating and such, though the game was a bit sloppy. Still, I got to see THE CATCH! Seriously, that was one nice catch. I think Bama folks will be talking about "the catch" the same way they now talk about "the kick". I'm glad I was there to see that.

On the downside, and this is quite a downside, I got sick. Now I'm not talking, "Ooh, I don't feel good sick." No, I'm talking about, "Someone please take me out and shoot me sick!" It was awful. Now before any of you suggest that ingestion of certain beverages may have caused my sickness, I don't think so. We did partake of some liquid refreshment, but nothing to warrant this level of pain and suffering.

I'll spare you the nasty details, but I nominate Ken for sainthood for not just kicking me out of the truck on the side of McFarland Blvd. Bless you, Ken. It's amazing, but I was a new man Sunday morning. The new man, though, was not up to getting all his work done yesterday, hence he's way behind and has no time for blogging today.

Still, I learned a valuable lesson. One should not badmouth Bama football and then attempt to go to a Bama game.

Everybody needs somebody ...

to make fun of. My pal, Vol Abroad, recently stirred up a bit of a hornet's nest when some posts potentially were insulting to folks in certain geographic locations. Sorry to be vague, but that's a nice, short version. Truth is, we all like to think that backwards as we may be, we're better than X. It's the old, "Thank God for Mississippi," mindset that one finds here in AL. By the way, in MS they thank God for Arkansas. Please, no threats from outraged Arkansans.

Anyway, to the point (yes, there is one) of today's post ... I have found somewhere closer to home that we North Alabamians can feel superior to -- Birmingham! Why? Well, I'll tell you. Today's issue of the Birmingham News contains its annual "readers' choice awards" (sorry, no link to the actual awards). Most cities do a similar thing -- readers vote on the best Mexican restaurant, best bar, best place to "hook up", etc. Birmingham's is not very different from others except it does have a category for "Best Local Boy (and Girl) Made Good".

Bo Bice (American Idol) won the local boy category and I don't have a problem with that. Personally, I don't think he's the "best local boy" to come out of Birmingham, but he was quite the sensation this past year so it sort of makes sense.

When it comes to the local girl category, though, I have a HUGE problem! Do you know who won? Courteney Cox (the actress). At first glance that might not be so offensive. She's been successful on the national stage and she is a local girl, so ... No, the outrage doesn't come until one sees who finished SECOND -- Condoleezza Rice! Yes, Condi, the U.S. SECRETARY OF STATE, finished second to an actress whose claim to fame is a sitcom that's no longer on the air! How could this be?!?!

Personally, I like Condoleezza, but no matter your personal politics she is the United States' Secretary of State! How can that NOT win her the "best local girl made good" award? In Birmingham's defense, most of these awards things require you to write in your choice rather than pick from a slate of candidates and maybe Condi just didn't come to mind. Yet the readers managed to remember Bo Bice, so how could they forget Condoleezza? I am flummoxed!

Still, it's an ill wind that blows no good and the next time the Decatur City Council embarrasses itself by refusing to follow through on a zoning promise it made to a bus stop owner, for example, I can say, "Thank God for Birmingham!"

On a Desert Isle

One thing I've discovered while trying to blog -- it's hard! Y'all know that I have an opinion on most everything, but it's hard to come up with a rant each and every day. I can do that in conversation, but I tend to think the written word is sacred in some sense. Hence, I try to be much more careful in my blog arguments. In addition, I constantly rail at my students for offering unsupported arguments so I have to find evidence to back up my rants and that's not easy. Yeah, I know unsupported opinions are allowed, but I try to avoid them.

If that's not enough pressure, a little bird from England (wow, 2 UK readers) tells me that her mother, an actual grownup, is reading at times. Yikes, now I really feel self conscious. So, "Hey, Mrs. G."

Anyway, today I opted for diversion. In honor of Bob Denver, who died last week, I present my current version of 5 books I'd like to have on a desert isle. If you don't get the tie to Bob Denver, think about it for a minute. Mind you, this list changes often. Also, I'm intentionally leaving off any classics. That way I don't have to put a Faulkner novel or Moby Dick on there just because I know those books should be on my list. Nope, this is pure guilty pleasure reading, in no particular order.

1. A Confederacy of Dunces. Funniest book EVER and a timely reminder of the joys of New Orleans. Ignatius J. Reilly may be the most memorable literary character in the history of the printed word. That may be hyperbole, but ... Sorry Tom Sawyer, Scarlet O'Hara, etc.

2.Sex and Sunsets. Second funniest book ever. Kelly Palamino will make you feel much better about your own life. Plus, you'll find yourself listening for voices in running water and you'll never forget the names of the first 5 Presidents of the U.S. Oh yeah, this book might also restore your faith in love at first sight (or kick).

3.The Secret History. I don't know why, but I absolutely love this book. It's a compelling story, but that's not what makes the book special. No, I think it's just that this book is wonderfully written. The characters aren't fabulous like #1 and #2 above, the mystery is resolved in the introduction, and you keep getting bogged down in ancient Greek (really, they're written in Greek) aphorisms. Still, this is one of my very favorite books. Every time I finish it I want to flip back to page 1 and start all over. I think I may have developed an unhealthy obsession with this book. I'm now like the Mel Gibson character in Conspiracy Theory (he HAD to buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye every day). I look for this book at every used bookstore and booksale I go to so I can buy another copy and give it to someone. I'm serious about this book.

4.Prague. In a lot of ways, this book reminds me of #3. Most of the characters are flat out unlikable and there's a whole middle section on the history of Hungarian publishing that seems rather pointless. Still, I fell in love with this book from page 1. It opens with a description of the 5 characters sitting in a Budapest cafe playing a game called sincerity. The first time I read this book I must have reread that introduction 10 times. It's that good.

5.Girlfriend 44. For ladies out there wondering what men are thinking, here's the answer. WE'RE NOT! Seriously, this a laugh-out-loud book. The first time I read this I was very careful not to read it in a public place, lest I embarrass myself with uncontrolled bursts of laughter and various liquids shooting out my nose. Some of the British terms may be a little hard to get at first, but stick with it.

Anyway, those are my current picks. If I'd been stuck on the isle with these, I probably wouldn't have been in a hurry to fix the boat either. Oooh, I realized I left off Richard Russo. Oh well, I'll put him on the next version.

If you've read any of these, feel free to comment. Alternatively, feel free to make suggestions.

Sorry, but given the theme of this post, how could I have forgotten this one?

Positive News About Wal-Mart?

For all the Wal-Mart bashing that goes on in America today, it was nice to see some positive news (registration required, I think) about the retail giant. Well, mostly positive (more on that later).

According to Tuesday's Washington Post, Wal-Mart has led the way on disaster relief.

Over the next few days, Wal-Mart's response to Katrina -- an unrivaled $20 million in cash donations, 1,500 truckloads of free merchandise, food for 100,000 meals and the promise of a job for every one of its displaced workers -- has turned the chain into an unexpected lifeline for much of the Southeast ...

Though Wal-Mart is sneered at by many, you know that the local Wal-Mart is the lifeblood for many small towns. Beyond their copious donations, I imagine that keeping the stores open in the marginally affected areas may turn out to have just as much of a positive impact. Lots of people can make donations, but not everyone can keep people employed and keep goods and services flowing. Donations do no good if you can't get the stuff to the people who need it or if you get money there and there's nothing to buy. Wal-Mart is doing both -- donating goods and keeping stores open -- and it's doing so much more efficiently than the government:

In Brookhaven, Miss., for example, where Wal-Mart operates a vast distribution center, the company had 45 trucks full of goods loaded and ready for delivery before Katrina made landfall.

Yes, that said Wal-Mart was prepared BEFORE Katrina made landfall. I think the head of Jefferson Parish (N.O. suburb) put it best:

"[if] the American government would have responded like Wal-Mart has responded, we wouldn't be in this crisis."

So, good for Wal-Mart. They're doing good and they're being recognized for it. Everybody wins, right? Well, not so fast. The WaPo reporters wrote this piece praising Wal-Mart, yet they insisted on taking shots at the company. I'll list a few:

... earned it near-universal praise at a time when the company is struggling to burnish its image.

Wal-Mart has much to gain though its conspicuous largesse -- it has hundreds of stores in Gulf Coast states and an image problem across the country ...

The praise comes at a time when the chain faces a series of lawsuits over allegations of wage-and-hour-law violations and gender discrimination.

The same sophisticated supply chain that has turned the company into a widely feared competitor is now viewed as exactly what the waterlogged Gulf Coast needs.

See, here's my problem. I try to avoid Wal-Mart myself simply because I don't like the huge stores and the long lines. I do not, though, begrudge them the right to do something better than others and profit from that. In fact, I view the whole "Wal-Mart is evil" movement as a modern day vindication of Ayn Rand's paranoia. Here, though, Wal-Mart is doing an unqualified good thing. They're making donations, they're delivering donations, they're keeping their stores open. Heck, they've even promised jobs to displaced workers at other stores around the country. They're being a model corporate citizen and they're doing things the government in general and FEMA in particular are not doing. Yet, the WaPo folks can't resist the urge to remind us that Wal-Mart is bad.

Does Wal-Mart have an ulterior motive in giving away water and basic supplies and donating millions of dollars of cash? I DON'T CARE! More importantly, I seriously doubt that folks on the coast care what the motivation is. The relevant point is that Wal-Mart is getting it done better than most anyone right now.

So, just for a day or so, let's all cut Wal-Mart some slack and say, "GOOD JOB, WAL-MART!" Heck, I think I'm going to force myself to go down to the Beltline today and buy some useless plastic trinkets just out of appreciation.

Hat tip to Marginal Revolution for notice of the original story.

How Handy Are You?

First, let me start with New Orleans and the MS Gulf Coast. I am just too saddened by all that is going on down there. It's not that I have nothing to say, it's just that anything I say seems inconsequential. Heck, they're still having trouble as far north as Jackson (so a reliable source tells me). Hence, I'm not even going to try. Lots of other folks are writing about the situation down there. If you can't find them, then you're not trying very hard.

Unfortunately today is a busy day for me. I don't really have time to do a well thought out post and nothing really caught my eye today anyhow. So, I'm going to take the cheap way out yet again and ask, "How handy are you?" Over the weekend I discovered a book that attempts to teach you how to do all the things you should know how to do by the time you're 30. Even though I suspect the sole purpose of this project was to make a bunch of 20-somethings feel completely and totally worthless, I thought it was a cool idea. Though I didn't buy the book and, of course, I no longer qualify for the "before 30" group, I was curious about what this particular writer thought I should have known a few years ago.

I'm proud to say that for a useless single guy, I did okay. Now my opinion of how to do some of these things may differ from the author's, but I think I could get by. I still may have to buy the book, though, because not only do I not know how, I did not know it was even possible to fold a fitted sheet (#21)! I start out trying to fold it, but by the end I'm usually satisfied with just wadding it up into a ball that I then try to squish down into something that resembles a folded sheet. That piece of knowledge alone has to be worth the price of the book. Heck, I could probably even find a wife if I were equipped with that knowledge!

Me: Want to go back to my place?
Her: Umm, I don't know, ...
Me: C'mon, I can fold a fitted sheet.
Her: Woohoo, let's get married!

That would have to be an improvement on my current encounters with females. Usually they go:

Me: Hello.
Her: I've got pepper spray!

Anyway, click here and scroll down to see the 30 things. See how you'd do. Mind you, I'll call you a liar if you tell me you already know how to fold a fitted sheet!

Holiday

Classes are over for the day and Monday is a holiday! Color me happy! Of course I can't afford to drive anywhere over the holiday, but that's another story. Actually, that's a lie; I could afford to drive somewhere, there's just nowhere I'm dying to go at this late date. I was supposed to go on a backpacking trip to the Smokies this weekend, but I had to pull out from that. I hate the way work sometimes forces me to do things I don't want to do.

Since I am in a hurry to get out of here and there's nothing really on my mind today, I'm going to take the cheap way out and just direct anyone who is interested to a few interesting (I think) web sites:

1. The Name Wizard allows you to enter a name and see how popular the name has been over time. It sounds pointless, I know, but it's really kind of cool. My name (spelled correctly), for instance, didn't even show up until the 1940s and it grew in popularity until peaking in the 1980s. In 2004, it was the 155th most popular boy name. Oh, you have to click on "Launch NameVoyager".

2. Oracle of Baseball allows you to connect any two players in baseball history using the shortest possible chain of teammates -- sort of a baseball version of the Kevin Bacon game. For example, Albert Pujols can be linked to Babe Ruth in 6 steps.

3. Snopes is a perennial favorite of mine. It is THE place to go to see if the latest email scare in your inbox has any validity at all. You can search by keyword, browse by topic, or check out the hottest 25 legends. Today's "hottest legends" all deal with gas prices and most all of them are shown to be false.

4. Finally, check out geocaching if you'd like to know more about one of my hobbies. Hey, I might actually get out and do some geocaching this weekend -- if I can find some close to the house.

So, everyone have a great holiday weekend. I'm going to try my best to do the same.

The first R

All over the blogosphere, two topics stand out today: New Orleans and gas prices. My thoughts on those topics: the scene in New Orleans is one of total and complete devastation and I saw $2.99 a gallon at lunch today (up even from this morning). Not to be flippant, but others out there are documenting the hurricane damage and I have nothing to offer on the gasoline front, so I'm going to steer clear of both. Instead, I'll do a book blog.

As some of you may know, I have had the opportunity to review a few books for the local paper. One I gave an above average, one I deemed should be used only to level a wobbly table, and one received an absolutely outstanding! You can read my thoughts using the preceding links, but I want to say a few words about the last book.

I am viewed as a VERY critical reader. It takes a lot to impress me when it comes to the written word, but Nanci Kincaid did it. As Hot as It Was ... is a wonderful book. My biggest complaint with most Southern Lit these days is that many authors seem to think if they were born in, ever lived in, or maybe just passed through the South that makes them a Southern writer. Oh, and throw race into the book, preferably in a heavy-handed way, and you've written a Southern novel. Truth is, it's not that simple. Ms. Kincaid does it right.

I loved everything about this book -- the opening passage about trying to find a cool spot in the summer, the presence of a "yard cat", the story behind the title, even the polite competition between the Baptists and the Methodists in town. Well, I wasn't so fond of the episode with all the snakes, but then again people tell me my fear of snakes is a tad extreme. They're wrong, but that's what they tell me. Anyway, if you like the works of Eudora Welty, Lewis Nordan, Carson McCullers, etc., you need to read this book. Some folks have compared it to Mockingbird, but that's not really fair. Mockingbird occupies such an iconic place (deserved or not) in the pantheon of Southern Lit that no book will fare well in comparison. Still, there are similarities.

This summer was kind of busy, so I didn't get to do any reviews. Plus, I have a theory that the book woman at the Daily has it in for me. Seriously, I called one week to ask about 3 books and she claimed all 3 were gone! Still, I have plenty to read in St. Caffeine's personal library.

Right now I'm reading William Kennedy's Alabany books. I tried to watch the movie version of Ironweed once and got so frustrated that I never picked up the book. Thanks to a used bookstore in Charleston, WV, I'm now attempting to correct that mistake. Sor far I've almost made it through the first book and I'm very pleased. I know this is high praise, but it reminds me of Fitzgerald or Hemingway. The characters are larger than life and they get into and out of larger than life scrapes. There's none of this "let's sit around and analyze our hopes and dreams" that is so prevelant in modern lit. No, these guys go out and live their hopes and dreams. Plus, there's no guarantee of a happy ending. The similarities to Gatsby in the first book obviously are intentional, but that's okay with me. Rip off a classic if you will, but you really need to do a good job if you're going to attempt that.

On a more topical note, ... I don't read a lot of nonfiction, but I recently read one that made a deep impression on me. Bayou Farewell is the story of the disappearing marshes in southern Louisiana. Parts of the book describing how the reduced marshland provides less hurricane protection for New Orleans seem particularly prescient today. Essentially, though, this is a book about a disappearing country and a disappearing way of life. Not only is the land flat out disappearing, the folks down there live such a singular lifestyle that they can't simply pack up and move somewhere else. They are tied so closely to the land/water that moving them will eliminate the culture.

Mike Tidwell is a journalist and at times he goes a tad overboard with the maudlin descriptions of the noble fisherman, etc. For the most part, though, he keeps that in check. Instead, he simply tells their stories. He spent time (a year? parts of a couple of years? I don't remember exactly.) simply living among the people. He didn't set up an anthropologist's laboratory to observe, he just showed up with a backpack and asked if anyone needed a deck hand or if they'd simply be willing to give him a lift to the next town down the bayou.

Furthermore, he doesn't go off on a rabid environmentalist screed. I firmly believe in protecting the environment and I belong to several environmental organizations, but I'm also an economist who recognizes the concept of opportunity cost and careful analysis (see yesterday's post). Hence, I don't have much patience with the folks in "the sky is falling, progress is bad" movement. Tidwell, for the most part, steers clear of that. He does mention global warming a bit, but he focuses on the proximate causes -- oil company canals through the marshes and the extensive levee system built to protect New Orleans and the lower Mississippi from (river) flooding.

As I said, it is a topical read given recent events AND I think it's a very well written book. Hopefully the authorities will listen a bit as they rebuild New Orleans. Oh, if you wish to help the folks down that way, click here.